The Importance of Self-Love

By Maddie Byers

We all hear people talking about the importance of self-love but what exactly is self-love? Self-love is defined in the dictionary as “having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness.” All too often it can be something that is difficult to achieve and can take many people a very long time to feel in the long term.

Although buying a new outfit or posting a picture on social media can make you feel confident for a few short hours, this is not self love. Self-love is accepting yourself all the time; it is a way of life. Today, so many young girls and boys fall victim to the pressure and expectations of social media. It is easy to fall for the lies and trickery that social media influencers portray as the reality, when their real body and lives are all hidden behind Photoshop and Filters. It is easy for them to tell you about how they lost 10 pounds in two weeks using only their weight-loss green tea, but don’t be fooled. These celebrities have their own personal chefs, personal trainers and Hollywood plastic surgeons. Please remember this the next time you come across a post that makes you feel like you aren’t good enough. This is all the fault of the warped and twisted society we live in.

A common misconception is that only females go through self esteem issues. This is so wildly untrue! So many men are also faced with the expectation of having to be strong and muscular, and like certain stereotypical things to be considered 'real men'. More than 40% of young boys in secondary school regularly exercise with the goal of increasing muscle mass.

In order to achieve self-love you must accept yourself before you try to change yourself for society. Self-love is not just about your appearance and looks but also be about your personality or intellect, your kindness or your humour. Caring only about looks, and trying to fit society's impossible mould is superficial and pointless.

Another mistake when we talk about self-love is to assume all those who are happy in their own skin are cocky and overly-confident. Loving yourself does not mean that you are vain or arrogant. It means that you put yourself first, taking care of yourself or your mental health before worrying about anything else. A low self-esteem can result in anxiety, depression, stress and loneliness, so it is so important to work hard to love yourself, no matter how difficult that may be.

Your weight, the shape of your hips, or the dip in your nose do not define your worth. I know that today it is so easy to let your low self esteem decide that you are not worthy of love. Having low self esteem affects your mental health which in turn often affects the destructive behaviours you may partake in. Over 75 % of teenage girls with clinically low self esteem are reported to smoke, drink, self-harm or have an eating disorder. This compares to only 25 % of teenage girls with high self esteem.

Although it can be a difficult task, it is so important to start to practise loving yourself. Stand in front of a mirror and say what you love about yourself. Do things that make you feel good, and confident. And most importantly, be yourself, because the minute you stop being yourself and try to mould into society's standards, you will fall into an endless rabbit hole. Self love, in my opinion, is the most important and rewarding love you will ever feel. So why would you want to miss out on that?